So, I got a lot of things going on in my mind nowadays. To be honest its this desperat little scream for a change in my life. I have been going on the same path for a lot of time now. And I need changes. I dont know how, and I dont know when. But something needs to change, and Im gonna figure out what. I have this crave for travelling. I deeply believe that by going to a more peacefull quiet place, I will find my peace. Hawaii seem like such a place. And Bora Bora. Such places with palms blowing in the slow wind, dancing, music, deliscious food and just overall a calm environment. I really, REALLY have to get somewhere else. This city is killing me slowly. I have 2 of the best friends a guy can have, we’re having fun in everything we do, we laugh, we joke about stuff, and have the same sence of humour. Im hopefully also going to visit the United States of America this summer. Thats the first step. I have this vision of what great life I can find there. I dont know why, and it may all just be wrong. But I have to find out.
Im stressed out these days. I cant relax, whatever I do. I dont have a lap to lay in, an arm to hold, a shoulder to rest on. That stresses me out, I am sitting still alot of the free time, trying to just to as little as possible, trying to relax, but it just dont work. I also know I should’ve been a much better friend to lots of my other friends. Im not visiting them enough, nor talking to them enough. I get stressed out by that as well. I feel bad about myself not for doing anything about it, but I dont have the extra energy to do things. Offcourse I could find it, I just need a kick in the butt. I wish someone gave it to me.
Also I want my own place to live, pay on my own house or appartement, not rent someone elses. Just to throw in a random line..
I am a dreamer, and I have come to a state where I’m desperate to live out some of my dreams, and then find a girl and maby settle down. I want kids, and I want a family. But that’s not a rush. I dont HAVE to get a girlfriend, or get a kid or whatever now. But I want to have those feelings. Being loved, or noticed. I can gladly idmit that I dont have the highest selfesteem, I know I could’ve been better at stuff, and I am honestly trying to improve. It have come to my attention the last 6 months that my right knee have gotten worse. I feel like my knee is jumping out of its natural position whenever I walk down some stairs. Its not natural! I hope I can make it better with exersise. Well, to sum this out, I just had to clear up my thoughts a little bit, and write down what’s going on in my head lately. I’ve drawn the following conclusions:
1 – I DESPERATELY need to travel somewhere, get an environmental change.
2 – I need to work out more, get more confident about myself.
3 – I need to find a way to relax better.
So, thanks for reading if you did. Hopefully things will change soon, but another thing I have to clearify: I LOVE MY WORK, this have nothing to do with work, even though it might occasionally make me tired. But thats life, ey?